I came across a picture on the internet with a title "55 sentences of positive things to say to your child".
I must admit! I am not always good at saying positive things to my daughter or only focusing on the positive behavior.
Photo by Douglas Lopez on Unsplash
With a marketing job to preserve, an e-commerce to grow, a new country to integrate, a new language to learn, a pandemic that delayed much of my action plans, and on top of all of that, the daily routine and tasks that come with having a family and kids; I drown in my own thoughts and mental planning. I just want to finish all my tasks with no interruptions or delays then call it a day!
I completely forget to praise my daughter for the positive behavior or to be more patient when there is a misbehavior, in my perception, of course.
To be honest, praising others is not something that comes naturally to me and as often as it should be. I have not been brought up in a home where the parents praise or say positive things to the kids. It was expected from my siblings and me that the good behavior was "the least we can/should do" for our parents. There was much more focus on the negative behavior, how bad they were and why we should stop them right away. However, this picture made me reflect on how much I have to be self-aware when I am around my daughter to notice the smallest positive things and praise her.
I also wonder, would giving too much focus on positivity will create a shock for our kids when they grow up and face the reality of life?
Adult life is rarely butterflies and blue skies. There will be many harsh comments, criticism, bullying, bad experiences, etc. Shielding our kids in a beautiful cocoon with all the perfection and positivity will not make them strong humans to face uncertainties and the harsh reality of some circumstances. Adding to that, their high expectations on constantly receiving compliments will be smashed as soon as they go out of our cocoon.
The best maybe is to show them our imperfections, our impatience, our sadness, our disapproval over their behavior along with our happy moments, our praise, our positive talk, and so on. Showing them that no high expectations are expected, no perfectionism is required and most importantly how to simply be a human being.
All I know now, is that I will always tell my daughter every single night how much I love her and she is my best ever gift; and only hope to do my best to raise a happy girl yet, strong enough to withstand the realty of life especially when I am not around anymore to hug her and tell her I am here for her.
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